no more pictures

okay, so I am officially retarded at posting photos on my blog, BUT i now figured out how to moblog from my phone and it posts the right size, so until i can figure out how to post photos that are the right size, i'm just going to use my cell phone. yayyayyay. i'm such a dork. but this is so exciting.

on another note, i actually had something meaninful to write this morning, but now i forgot. it had something to do with the dinner i had last night though. i had dinner with one of our ceo's. he thought i was 32-35. can you believe that? in my mid-thirties. i'll chalk it up to my downright maturity. he did. or at least he tried to, to get himself out of the hole he had dug himself into.

but all in all, there are so many things i want to do with my life. but at the same time, i tried to make a list of 50 things i wanted to do for myself in my life - and i couldn't even come up with 50. but they're big things, i guess. things i know i can accomplish, and things i know i could be good at. they are also things i am willing to share with someone, but perhaps not necessarily things i am willing to sacrifice for someone. no, i take that back. things i am willing to change, form and share - sacrifice in a sense - as long as someone else is willing to do the same. but the problem is, all of us are selfish.

i've yet to meet someone who meets that criteria, someone who can put aside himself for a relationship. the funny thing is just how conditional we are though. you might - you even want to - to be able to put aside things, change things to make it work. but once you realize the person you thought you'd be willing to do all that for simply cannot, you take it back. you end up hurt, angry, and vulnerable. but you have to take it back. you can't give of yourself to someone who doesn't want a present. that's a recipe for disaster. it sucks, yes, but then suddenly, before you know it, the door has swung the other way, and maybe it's time to move on. or maybe it's not, but either way, something has to change.