faithfulness

a character trait that i value very much: faithfulness. not so much specifically in the marriage, boy/girl relationship sense (which of course i do as well!), but more so in the religious use of the word, but used in the context of friends. that sounds highly confusing, i know - that's why i'm trying to write it down so i can figure out what i mean.

in dictionary.com, the word is defined as follows:
faith‧ful [feyth-fuhl] –adjective
1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.
2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.
3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.
4. reliable, trusted, or believed.
5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.
6. full of faith; believing.

and so i think my definition of faithful revolves mostly around (3) and (4). to me, being steady in affection and loyal to my close friends is extremely important. and vice versa. i look for reliable people, ppl i can depend on, ppl who will listen to and love me through the ridiculousness of life, and still believe (see def (6)) and know why we are friends. and i look to do the same.

but you know, human nature simply isn't like that, is it? we are too selfish, too judging to actually love and live like that. and so i think it's rare, rare and special just to find a few ppl who you can call faithful - faithful friends and faithful to you. and so i guess i strive for that, but can i ever succeed? those who are true, they will be there for you. but those who are not? in your times of ick, should you hurt their feelings, break their moral codes - *poof* - they go byebye. and those friends? they are not faithful. and in response, i have no desire to be in return. that makes me unfaithful too.

mysore

i went to my first mysore yoga class in CA today. i've only been to two others - one during a yoga weekend in Surrey when i was still living in the UK, and one at the studio i used to go to in Notting Hill. so basically mysore is the ashtanga series (primary, secondary, tertiary etc by however advanced you are) at your own pace. so in essence, it's not even really a class. everyone is doing their own thing, one guy doing a headstand in the corner, another lying on the floor, some other chick trying to balance her legs on her arms. it's silent but for the unified noise of the breath and the occasional jump back and through. classes are meant to be held before dawn, and the instructors watch, modify and adjust your poses as you do them.

so it's very disciplined but totally unstructured at the same time - you have to wake up super early, and you're supposed to practice everyday. the teacher stops you in the series where he thinks you've had enough and you build upon your practice from thereon everyday. it's actually kind of ego bruising for some ppl...ehem, like me. but apparently you get addicted. so we'll see. i'll admit, i didn't love it, and i'm a little tired - but it feels good to work out in the mornings. there's actually only half a dozen or so studios in the entire bay area that offer this type of yoga (it's pretty hard to find yoga instructors who are willing to hold class 6 days a week for 2 hours at 6am), so i'm lucky to live so close to one.

but ultimately, i like it because:
(1) you get more personalized attention, and so i think you learn more. and when you learn more, you learn more quickly.
(2) you have to use your brain - led classes you simply listen to the voice of the teacher, here you forget the pose and you're left looking a bit stupid
(3) i like being touched. i realize that sounds kind of dirty ;P, but really, i'm an affectionate person. and i just really like the concept of having someone physically adjust you to the point where it pushes you outside your comfort zone

so let's see if i can go to bed earlier and wake up at the butt crack of dawn. i doubt it, but hey, stranger things have happened. it helps to set goals for yourself. so mine? i want to be able to do unassisted backbends and headstands without thinking i'm going to die. and then i want to go to india, here.

oh, and here's a picture of my favorite yoga teacher, a quirky french ex-investmt banker/trader turned IT web developer yoga guy. he teaches a super led primary series class on friday and sat mornings.